|Love Doctor's Blog|
|Thursday, 11 February 2010|
I even have difficulty figuring this one out. Talking to someone, fantasizing, chatting, kissing, touching, making promises— what exactly is cheating? When does a person cross the line? Does someone have to have sex with another to be considered a cheater? Most people will call a cheater a player or a pimp. The thing about a cheater is that he can be either or both. A player is someone who has multiple women and none of them know about the other. A player is the one that usually plays the game and sees if he can get away with hiding the women from one another. A pimp has multiple women, but they all know about one another and he has nothing to hide. He makes the rules and if you do not like them, you’re free to leave. A good player has to be the best at the talking game, somewhat like a lawyer in the courtroom. He has to be quick with an accurate and believable response. A good pimp does not need to talk; the women should already know. A pimp completes a woman with comfort and security. However, where does a cheater fall into play? A cheater can be a player or pimp and most of the time, it is both. Usually a cheater will have one main woman, which is the wife or the girlfriend, and then he will have the other women. The other women usually know about the wife, which puts the cheater at pimp status. However, the wife usually does not know of the other women, which puts the cheater at a player status. I’ll call these cheaters Plaimps (play-imps). Many people, when they first hear the word cheater, automatically think that a person is talking about sex. If someone is not talking about sex, is it still considered cheating? Can you cheat on someone mentally and not physically?
What I believe cheating to be is simply fulfilling one of the three connections (spiritual, mental, and physical) with another person and liking it to the point that it causes uncontrollable attraction and desires. Some of you reading this may have your own opinion, but let me justify mine. I would normally say that physical is the only way of cheating. After looking into it, I found another answer using a scenario.
If my woman is giving someone else her time that I know nothing about and mentally having a connection with this person, then she is cheating. I am not just using the connection as cheating. I am looking at the fact that it is occurring behind my back. Now at first, I would not have a problem with this, but it depends on how much is going on. A friend of mine once told me, “You hardly have to worry about who your woman tells you about, but always worry about the ones that they don’t tell you about.” That is true, but sometimes this is not a fact. I can recall many times that I did tell my woman about the other woman as if she was just a friend. Sometimes, it is that your lover may just have friends and nothing more, although, that is the problem with why people are cheated on. They think nothing of it. The simple things usually create the biggest problems. The reality is that the more female friends I have, the more opportunities I have to cheat and get away with it.
So what is cheating to me? It is deceitfulness, and giving someone else attention your lover should be getting. As I always say, “If you communicate, you’ll probably fornicate.”