Hi Doctor, I have been living with my bf for 4 years. I have always been faithful and I think he has too, but in the past with other men I always followed my instincts and usually found I was pretty damn close to the truth about other women. I started a new job about 6 months ago and my bf's attitude was changing, till finally I worked a 4pm to midnight shift when I talked to my bf that night on the phone it was like he wasn't paying any attention and I had that weird feeling that he was silently speaking with someone in the background... I didn't say anything and finished my shift about an hr later. When I finally made it home I had a very uneasy feeling as soon as I entered our bedroom. The whole scene looked and felt different and the bed was so neat but he was in it. My womanly instincts automatically kicked in for the first time with him. Of course his response to me was "well I guess this will be the first time in your life that you are wrong." So I let it go and made myself believe that maybe he is right i'm just tripping. Well for the next week after that we went through him not staying hard during sex etc. now it is a month later and I can't seem to get that night out of my head and I still have that overwhelming instinct that just won't go away. So am I tripping or is there a sign for concern.
Sincerely, confused 30yr old in KY
Dear confused 30yr old in KY,
Is there a cause for concern? I believe that ever relationship has a cause for concern and I've been married for some time now. However, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions just yet. Though you do work a late shift and that does give him plenty of time to cheat, unless you have full proof, you shouldn't accuse him of cheating. Nonetheless, I do agree that instincts are the first sign to infidelity, so keep your eyes open and senses at attention and you will find the answer that you are looking for. If you are too worried and just can't get over your instincts, it may be time to pull out the stalker techniques and monitor your home a little better. Check banks, phones, smells, hair strands, his clothing and get a camera if you have to. No one wants to be that clueless fool and no one wants to be that paranoid lover. However, if you can hardly sleep or think, you either need proof or you need for your man to better reassure you. If you don't trust him, then you have your answer.
