I have been in a relationship with a girl for about 7 years now. We fell for each other after being good friends in our college days. We loved each other truly and madly and I still do. What has transpired over the years is a communication gap primarily due to the distance between us.. And I know that my possessive nature has more often than not hurt her as she thinks that I dont trust her. I get dejected when I know she was talking to her good friends (male). I tried to restrict her and curb her. I knew I was wrong but the possessiveness was getting the better off me. But we shared a lot of good times together. We had a lot of love for each other despite these arguments. I have also hurt her with my words when I am angry. I never meant the words I said but I do know now that she was being hurt by it but then I was only writhing in my anger. I never took efforts to clear off the air as I always put away the issue under the rug and began the new day with only one thing in my mind that
she was my life and the only one who mattered to me. Sadly she did not do the same.. She remembered everything I said. I know I should have fixed it. I know I let it grow in her but i was only hoping that as soon as we start living together with our established careers, I can remove that impasse between us. Recently we had an argument and we didnt speak for a month as both of us were out of town traveling. She recently called me and told me that she is breaking up with me and wants to end it all.
I know she is not saying the truth because I see that she still loves me. But now she is really angry. She is flaring up on me, accusing me, abusing me, denying cold heartedly that she ever loved me and that she doesn't want me in her life. I know she does and I know I love her too. I have realized my mistakes and I have been through the worst times of my life emotionally. She thinks that I am now trying to say whatever she likes to win her back. The truth is I love her and I know I can give her the happiness she needs. I know what I have done and I have learnt it the hard way. I want to be with her and keep her happy.
I know this is not the regular love and cheat kind of scenario, but I just hope that you can help me out and tell me what I can do. Honestly I am out of options and my mental state is not allowing me to think properly too. I need your help please.
Sincerely, Vijay
Dear Vijay,
Right now, i believe it would be best if you do give her some space just to see what life is without you. What you can do is try starting from scratch. Start as a friend and work your way up again. With starting from scratch it involves flirting again, calling her at night and letting her know that you are thinking about her, etc. It seems that she simply wasn't getting enough attention from you and that will cause a woman to want out of the relationship. That is all that a woman ever wants. Let her know that you do care and also show her by giving her the attention that you believe she deserves. Dont allow yourself to not talk to her for months at a time or ignore her concerns. For now, give her some space and start fresh by first apologizing through a nice letter or email to her.
