Dear Doctor Lover,

Recently my boyfriend moved because he lost his job and it was hard to find work where we lived. I didn't want him to move but his savings started to run out and him moving to find work seemed like the best idea. Two weeks before he was supposed to leave I found out I was pregnant. He told me when he found a job he wanted the baby and I to move in with him. Weeks went by and he hadn't found anything and my job had cut backs and I was let go. We decided I should move in with my parents until we could be together. We talk on the phone every day. It was taking longer for him to find work. One day he asked me about an abortion. He said he didn't feel that we were financially ready to start a family. I was somewhat surprised! After that conversation I felt some distance between us. He would call but we only talked a few minutes. I cried almost everyday. We only talked maybe once every other day. With all the added stress, things turned for the worst. I lost the baby. I didn't call to let him know that I was in the hospital and that I lost the baby. We haven't talked for two years now. I changed my number and moved again. He's tried finding me through my emails. Apologizing for not being there like he should have and how he wants a second chance. I don't know what to do because I love him with all my heart. I just cant seem to get over losing our baby. This hurt me so much. I know not telling him is wrong. I want to tell him what happened but I don't know if I'm ready. Should I call him? Would he even care that I lost the baby?

Sincerely, Sadlostlove

Dear Sadlostlove,

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your baby and I do believe that you should tell your ex about what happened. I don't see why he would get upset as the baby is as much his as it is yours. You have to place yourself into his shoes. If he were the woman and you were a man. If he said that he was pregnant and you never heard back from him, what would you think? As of now, he may think that he has a child out there somewhere. You do owe him an explanation of what happened to you and his child. As of now, all that he can do is his part. He's tried contacting you and that is all that he can do. You need to do your part and let him know what has happened. Though you may not want a relationship with him, it is only right to let him know what happened to the baby. I'm sure he can get over the fact that you haven't contacted him or spoken with him about the situation. There's a bigger concern at hand and he and you need to talk about what happened to the baby and not what happened with you and his relationship.

~Doctor Lover