Dear Doctor Lover,

I am 25 yrs old, and an educated beautiful black woman. I have been with my man for 7yrs. I love him so much; however, I have caught him cheating several times. The last time I caught him with her and he begged her not to go and completely dismissed me. The next day he said he was sorry and we spent the holidays together like we were okay. However I am still very hurt, it has destroyed my self esteem. I am not close to my family, and I feel I have no one but him. I love him but I know I don't need him. How do I get past this? Every day I think about it I get sick and just want to die. I've never imagined life without him. He is coping very well, and I am the one losing sleep. Please help me.

It’s bigger than him cheating; it has destroyed my self-worth.

Signed,
Please Help

Dear Please Help,

You said it yourself. You love him, but don't need him. I don't care what you have going on that is making you stay with this guy. he is doing you dirty and you are simply letting it happen. your self esteem didn't go down because he did it, it went down because you allow it. You need to stand up and get out of this relationship and quick. It's going to go nowhere but even further down from here. Leave and don't look back. Yes, love is powerful and can accomplish anything, but this isn't even worth fighting for. He simply doesn't care and isn't even trying. You are just a girl in his life that isn't going to go anywhere and he knows it. Prove him wrong and show him that you don't need him to be happy. because if you are looking for happiness with him, its clearly gone. Your true worth comes from self and you need to realize this and understand that you can be happy with yourself and build your self-esteem back up to where only you can take it.

Please get out of this as quickly as you can, because no one deserves that kind of treatment.

~Doctor Lover