Dear Doctor Lover,

I am a 39-year-old divorced father of 3. My ex and I have been divorced for 2 years. We had what I thought was a good marriage; there were bumps along the way but not any arguing or fighting. Mostly, I failed to let her truly know what she meant to me. Although she went on with her life and remarried. I remained in love with her. She is now divorced. My feelings for her have not changed at all while we were separated.

We have dinner occasionally and hang out. She is not ready for any more than that right now. Which is fine with me, because I want her back in life. I want to show her what she truly has meant to me for so many years. I think in order to win her back I must remain patient until she is able to get her emotional self back together.

Am I wasting my time? Or should I continue to be patient?

Sincerely, JL

Dear JL,

I believe that you should do as you suggested and wait for her to get herself back together. You have to realize that she has been divorced twice within a few years. Being through those ups and downs can cause emotional damage to some and she may be going through some of that. I don't believe that she is ready to get right back into another relationship right now. You may want to take it slow and make her feel loved again. Instead of trying to be with her, just be there for her and do all of the things that you should have done. However, do it as a friend until she falls in love with you. She doesn't need to be your woman or wife in order for you to sweep her off of her feet and do the things that you say you want to do. Start slow with small dates and evenings together. The answer is to impress her all over again. Treat her as you would treat a new potential love in your life. She'll only fall in love with your actions and not your words at this point.

~Doctor Lover