I just found out the my husband has been lying to me about a female friend he has been talking to. He Met her in Mar of 2007 and I became aware of her in October 2009 when I found a voicemail from her. at the time I found the voice mail he had been out of school for a year and a half. he swore to me that they never hung out and that they never talked on the phone. just recently he received a message from her on Facebook, which brought it all back up and come to find out, he claims he used to hang out with her after school in a study session, and they used to talk on the phone, but claims they never did anything sexual, he claims he never told me cause he was protecting me.. in the meantime while he is with her I am home with our 3 children. is this cheating even if nothing happened and he just lied about it.
Sincerely, alycia
Dear alycia,
I would agree that this is a form of cheating. Cheating starts when he holds the truth about spending time with her. That is time that you and your family should have had together. Being that he lied about being with her and lied about the phone calls, it clearly tells you that he has some feelings for her. In addition, it puts his character into judgement and if he lied about these things, youll never be able to truly tell if he has cheated with her sexually. Right now his words arent the most trustworthy. Its normal for a man to be attracted to other women, but he has a responsibility and commitment to you to control those feelings. In my opinion, he may have already cheated sexually, if he hasn't then its because the other woman hasn't let it happen. Once he started lying and hiding this other woman from you, she gained the upper hand. This could be sexual, or he may simply enjoy the flirting and possibility of an affair. my suggestion would be to continue to monitor the situation and get some solid proof before it gets out of control.
