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Who am I?

I'm one of, if not the only male relationship advice columnist.

I never planned to be a relationship expert. I never had any plan to start an online column handing out relationship advice or any plans to write a book on the subject. I grew up in a home full of women and around women. One thing that I've learned lots about is feelings and emotions. I was recommended to write a book after all of my advice started working. Everyone around me was astounded at how easily I could make a complicated situation have a quick and easy fix. What was my biggest advice in being successful? It was to tell anyone going through the situation to get over it and stop expecting so much from imperfection.

Relationships aren't about finding perfection. No one is perfect- therefore; you can't keep getting upset when you don't reach it in your relationship. Perfection is just one of those things in life that is meant to be sought after, but never meant to actually be reached. No person is or will ever be perfect besides God himself.

A relationship doesn't take a rocket scientist to manage. From years of handing out my expert advice to friends, family, strangers, and anyone else who has asked; I've realized that relationships are fairly simple. The biggest issue that I have found in troubled relationships is that they are broken from the start. Just like in a math problem, if you miss the first step, then you miss the entire problem. No one seemed to really understand that the person they were with just wasn't the right person for them. However, they just didn't want to let go and start over. The answer is that every relationship is not meant to be and every problem doesn't have a solution.

I've spent years telling the same story and handing out the same advice. If you're a woman and your man isn't showing you any attention, then he probably doesn't want to be with you or he isn't connected with you enough to talk to you. How do you fix it? You can't alone, but you can together. Not every problem has a solution that one person can fix.

Most of my readers and questions have come from women trying to figure out ways to keep their man, reunite with their ex or to find a man. Ultimately, my same answer is that all it takes is communication. Just talk. Just ask your man what he wants or address the problems that you two have. If he doesn't want to talk with you, then he has given up trying. If one person stops trying in the relationship, it is over. All that a woman or man can do, is their part. They can't do it all because they can't do the work of the other lover. If they try to do it all, they will always fail. The first step to making any relationship successful is to first try¬- The both of you- Together.

Relationships need a simple three things to function at its best. Those three things are; a spiritual connection, a mental connection and a physical connection. If anyone in the relationship is ever missing any one of these, the relationship is likely to be in trouble. Men and women ultimately cheat because they are missing one of these three connections within the relationship. If your relationship doesn't connect on all levels, then your partner will find and fill in the missing links with another person.

People don't cheat because they are unhappy or because they don't have love at home. They cheat because they are looking for a connection that they don't have at home. If you want to make sure that you have a successful relationship, you absolutely must have a connection on all three levels.

I've been through a great deal of successful and unsuccessful relationships. Ultimately, only one woman made it down the aisle with me. The others never stood a chance. I told lies, made false promises and fed dreams knowing that I never had any future plans with any of the women I dated. I knew from the beginning that I wasn't going to be with them. Nonetheless, some of them lasted years, but only out of my own personal convenience.

I always had one goal in mind when I started a relationship with a woman. It wasn't to get married or to find a girlfriend. It was to play around and sell that woman the dream. The dream of a fairytale. The dream of love. The dream of perfection.

Stop settling and start communicating and you will be surprised to see just how much time and tears you can save if you just open your mouth.

Till this day, I use my own advice within my marriage. If I ever feel a disconnect with my wife on any level, then it's time for us to talk and get our connection back.

My hope is that through my novel and self-help book, I will be able to show the inside of a man's head as he lives and walks in a world of infidelity and lies.